Do you know what your man is up to?

There's trust and there's smart trust. I know of a man whom for legitimate reasons should be courting relationships with women outside of his wife, in fact to promote his wife's project. But looking at his online activities, in addition to being privy to his flirtations, I decided to blog about the distinction between "trusting" your man and being "smart while trusting" your man. The difference? "Trusting" your man means you love him and you blindly trust that he respects your relationship/union/together status...and you're usually the last to know about his extracurricular activities: everyone else in the world knows about them before you. I know more women than I care to admit who fit in this category and I pray for their strength as they live their lives the way they choose to or the only way they know how. "Smart trusting" your man means you recognize that men fall to temptation because they are the weaker sex, so you place reasonable limits to let him know you know what he's capable of doing and you're not having it. You subtly monitor his activities just to ensure he's respecting your relationship without being invasive of his life. If this were the case this man I first mentioned would not be conducting the activities he has been thus far.

Is this going too far? That depends on what you want from your relationship: if your "man" is really not the "one" and he's disposable, why put forth all this energy? If you can't trust him why stay with him? If you love him til death do you part then maybe it's worth the work? I can't answer that I can only continue to write about my observations as I struggle in this world myself.

All men want is to be King

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

I was watching a man interact with his wife...he didn't allow her to speak, in fact, she basically sat while he did all the talking for the two of them. It reminded me of situations I'd been in and conversations I'd had where all the man wanted was to be king: to dominate me, convince me to hold his same opinion, support his endeavors. I have no problem with this in a relationship as long as it's reciprocal: I get to be queen when it's my turn. This is the problem with some men: they don't give a woman the chance to be queen, it's all about them. Then they wonder why you're not on their jock? Because you're better than they are and they failed to recognize so they're left sitting on their asses or waiting for some woman who doesn't have as much to offer but lets him be king. Question is how far do you compromise yourself for a relationship?

All men are animals...

Saturday, March 17, 2007

But I'll say in our defense that some just make better pets.

A Real Man Loves a Real Woman

Saturday, March 17, 2007

[My sister saw Steve Harvey in K.C. and while he's a fool! he also says some pretty wise things among the comedy:] Steve said that there are only 3 things a real man can do when it comes to his woman--the 3 Ps (loosely paraphrased from his show)

-Profess: A real man will profess his love for you. He'll tell people "That's my girl", "That's my wife", "That's my fiancee", "That's my baby mama". Whatever you are to him, he'll let people know. If your man doesn't do that, he's not really your man (and you're not really his woman).

-Protect: Real men do this so well, it might cause problems. A real man is not going to let his woman have problems in life. Men are problem solvers. If his woman tells him she is being bugged at work, that real man will go down and handle the problem for her--even if it's with her boss. He might even get her fired. A real man will protect his wife and kids at any cost.

-Provide: A real man will provide for you. If your man does not give you money he is not your man. If your man brings his money home, puts it with yours and tells you to handle it, that's a good man.

Women keep looking for men to talk with them like their girlfriends do; to go shopping with them; etc. That is not what men do. You may leave a good man and go looking for someone who does all these things. That's how some women end up with these down low brothers. If a man actually enjoys shopping with you...

So, what do you do about a smile?

Monday, February 26, 2007

I walked into the office and meet the eyes of a prior client who gave this HUGE smile and then looked away as if he didn't want me to realize he was smiling at me. I asked my co-workers why he was not sitting with one of them and they teased that he was waiting for me, wouldn't allow anyone else to serve him, the office flirt proclaiming, "I don't blame him!" So I settle myself and call him to do his work. But in the back of my mind I wonder how I should handle him and the situation: here's a nice, working man who obviously delights in seeing me...what to do? There are obvious answers, but not if you always wait for "him" (any "him") to make the first move which he is too kind/insecure/shy to do, so what do you do about a smile?

Well, the obvious answer is get over your own kindness/insecurity/shyness and ask him out, but there's always an intellectual barrier...so, what do you do about a smile? Someone tell me please?